Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Divorce is a violent act

Divorce results in the parties' violent actions as seen here:

Man allegedly forces ex-wife to swallow his wedding ring
"Police have charged Darryl Alan Roberts, 44, of Fairfield with domestic violence, saying he forced his ex-wife to swallow his wedding ring. Police say he joined his former wife and another woman for drinks June 23, but they left him at the Bangor pub after he became angry. Police told the Kennebec Journal that Roberts called his ex-wife 16 times, then showed up at her home, kicking in the door, punching her, threatening to kill her and making her swallow his wedding ring."

In Israel, an ex-husband murdered his three young children. "Itay Ben Dror, who confessed to stabbing his three young children to death on Saturday, apparently lay next to their lifeless bodies for more than 10 hours. During his interrogation, the father said the murders were premeditated, adding that he purposely chose to commit them on his ex-wife's birthday as an act of revenge after she refused to take him back. Of the situation prior to the killings, the authorities told her, "'Don't engage in a war in front of the children; leave the war for the court.'" The mother said she has nothing left to live for. She wants to see him behind bars. "Then I"ll join my children."

I don't mean that people act violently after a divorce because they are emotionally in turmoil. I mean that they act violently after a divorce because divorce itself is a violent act. Did you ever think of divorce as a violent act, and the parties' violence afterwards being only a visible side-effect of that violence? In the secular world we know that divorces at best are almost without exception emotion-filled, bitter experiences. At worst, they are like the situation in Israel with Itay Ben Dror who killed his kids. The language in the article used the word "war." And it IS a war, in the flesh on earth, for booty (furniture) and for territory (house) and for captives (children.)  It's also a spiritual war in the celestial realms to directly attack one of the most important foundations Jesus laid down: the family. Let's look at the language the bible uses:

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

Cleave is to adhere, cling, or stick fast. If you use wood glue and then after it dries, if you want to separate the two pieces that you made into one, you have to tear it apart by force, and they never come apart cleanly. There are splits in the wood, pits, damage.

The oft used phrase during marriage vows, "So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate" comes from NIV Matthew 19:6. The World English Translation puts it this way: "So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, don't let man tear apart." Tear apart. We see in Genesis that the man and woman (not man-man nor woman-woman) who are to be married cleave, stick, become ONE flesh. Splitting that apart causes damage because to separate something that has become one, into two, is violent. It requires tearing, pulling, splitting, cutting.

Marriage is a covenant between three people: man, woman, God. A covenant is an eternal promise, a sacred thing. God discusses it here, "You ask, 'Why?' It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. (Malachi 2:14). Satan hates any and all Godly covenants. Therefore marriage and the family become prime targets for satan's evil will to be done. Toppling the foundation of marriage and splitting apart a family through violence of divorce makes him positively gleeful. Still don't think divorce is violent? Look at the picture of this house whose foundation has been washed away:

"Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall." (Luke 11:17)

Why is divorce so violent? Satan is behind it. God said: "I hate divorce..." (Malachi 2:16). What God loves, satan hates. Ruining marriage and family rises to the very top of satan's evil to-do list

We know this end of the end time of anger and hatred and violence even in and among the family is coming. We were told: "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without natural affection, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power." (2 Timothy 3:1-5). I wrote about the deeper meaning of the term 'without natural affection' here. It means without affection for those whom one would naturally feel affection for, like wives, husbands, children; those within the most intimate family unit.

Divorce begins because of sin, and sin is something we let into our lives. It is an open door. Wherever you live, city or country, if you leave your door standing wide open you are inviting thieves, varmints, and beasts. It is the same with sin. If you do not shut the door to it immediately, you are inviting demon thieves, demon varmints, and demon beasts into your soul.

Matthew Henry wrote "Men will find that their wrong conduct in their families springs from selfishness, which disregards the welfare and happiness of others, when opposed to their own passions and fancies. It is wearisome to God to hear people justify themselves in wicked practices. Those who think God can be a friend to sin, affront him, and deceive themselves. The scoffers said, Where is the God of judgment? but the day of the Lord will come."

Christian husbands, now is the time of testing. Your marriage is and will be under continual attack. Cherish your wife as your help-meet, making the choice to love her even though stresses from this sinful world wash up against your marriage. Wives, love your husbands, build them up, and serve them with joy and grace, even as Jesus serves us. Make the choice to love him, even though hurts and wrongs pile up in your heart. Allow the Holy Spirit to wash those wrongs away because love keeps no record of wrongs. Tallying them is an open door to sin. Standing up for the covenant you have established with and for the Lord does MUCH these days to refresh the weary souls around you. Stand, husbands. Stand, wives. Divorce is a violent and ugly thing, Let satan not push you off your rock.

1 comment:

  1. Sharp and straight to the point. Divorce occurs due to unforgiveness in human-heart. It is a world of it is all about me and nobody else matters because I want to be happy and life is too short. Only God can bring about happiness.

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