Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Testament

This is what the Lord has done this week for me and with me:

He used me for His glory and for His name. It is a hard thing to be used so well by the Holy Spirit while it is happening, but the reward is great: a closer walk with the King and a greater humility when it is over that I could be used for His name.

He gave me crystal clarity to a situation. He didn't have to do that, but He did. I praise His name in the highest!

Another result I received a greater faith in His word, and what a blessing that is. He is steady and true, and He is with me always.

He gave me understanding of an overlooked sin, and forgave me when I repented of it.

He showed me why I am the way I am. I learned last summer that I am a high functioning autistic/adult Asperger's, and though it answered many questions in my mind about why I think and feel about things the way I do and why I connect with the world in a different way than everyone else, I wasn't settled about it. But this week He showed me how He could use me because He made me this way.

He gave me His felt presence in a fervent prayer session and I came away with tears, knowing that His word does not go out and come back void. He works all things for the good for those who love Him. Before, I knew it, today I know it.

He answered prayer. I had asked for provision. He gave it. No, I don't have a bigger bank account. He delivered treasures galore: peace, conviction, understanding, nearness to Him, and joy. I'm rich!

Most of all, He ministered to me an even better understanding of His mercy, His greatness and His love. What a tremendous, tremendous God we have. Jesus is so High, yet came low for us. He will return to gather His bride, and I'm so happy for this. Until then, I seek His face always.

"For you shall go to all to whom I send you, And whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of their faces, For I am with you to deliver you,” says the LORD." (Jer 1:7b-8)

Do not be afraid to step out in faith and do what the Lord commands. He is with us.

3 comments:

  1. I've been reading your blog for a year or longer and picked up fairly early on that you have Aspberger's. Our adult son also has it, very mild, but it's definitely "there". There are similarities between your routines, interests, knowledge, etc. and his. God never makes mistakes and He has a purpose for everything under the sun. I'm glad you discovered this about yourself last year and I'm glad it did not discourage you. Don't ever look at it as a handicap but as a different way of looking at and dealing with the world and those around you. I, for one, am very thankful that God did not make us all exactly alike!

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  2. Thank you anonymous! I really, really appreciate your comment.

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  3. Elizabeth I want to tell you something that might be an encouragement; I only really learned about Aspergers in the past decade or so, and have one nephew who has it, so I have read extensively on the subject and sought out books written by Aspies because I find I understand things much better by hearing directly from those who have firsthand experience with something. That is what I did when I was diagnosed bipolar. Forget that I'm a nurse and forget all the "clinical" speculation, give me the words of the person who lives it, and that, I will be able to take to the bank. Anyway, as a "neurotypical" (I don't actually believe in such a critter, frankly I think we all exist on the spectrum, though at some point it goes "ultraviolet" and "invisible to the naked eye" so to speak) I find that the way Aspies communicate meshes exceptionally well with my personal inordinate need for clarity and facts. I'm prone to be too "emotional" too analytical, and expansive. Conversing with an Aspie adds ballast to my dinghy, lol! Factual, concise, and fairly black and white. Just reading this comment you can see my way of expressing anything is far from economical. :-) Yes, God made Aspies exactly as they are for specific reasons. If I had my druthers, I'd have more of you guys, not fewer. I also actually share some traits common with many Aspies, the extreme sensitivity to certain stimulation, like tags in clothing, aversion to a lot of physical contact/hugging, bright light, noise, even a breeze across my skin sometimes. Funny thing; I had noticed when I would go to the dentist and they put that lead vest over my torso to take dental x-rays, that it felt so calming I didn't want them to take it off. Then one day I shared that with the dental hygenist and she said that she had a child who is slightly autistic and that there are folks who make weighted blankets for kids because it soothes them when they feel overwhelmed and it helps them sleep. I think many of the things in the DSM are not "disorders" at all, just variations in "ways of being". Still, the research does help toward facilitating healthier interaction if we understand these things about different ways of being/thinking/functioning. Love your blogs!
    S.T.Lloyd

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